Dr Schwartz Response to Amy Chua's Tiger Mother

In response to Amy Chua's offensive article in the WSJ (Chinese Tiger Mother) in which she describes her extraordinarily abusive parenting style involving, among other tactics, verbal cruelty ("garbage") and the withholding of water and food from a a 7-year-old child I  post the following for consideration.
Eliza Noh Studies Suicide
 I find it concerning that Amy Chua has not been charged with child abuse for her actions.
Wendla A. Schwartz, MD

Our children are certainly unlikely to achieve more than they believe we believe they can accomplish. We must set the bar high,  then give them tools, support and love as they find their way. Coddling,  protecting and preventing failure produces only weakness.  We do not set limits on our children. We allow them to find their own limitations along the way. Truthfully, we do not know what they cannot accomplish. Only in retrospect do we know what they can. All these things are as true for children with mental illness as for every other child.

 While it is true that all children can benefit from goals, structure, support and direction from their parents, Amy Chua has it wrong.  We  must NEVER equate a child's value as a human, their value to us as parents or their worthiness of our love to their ability to achieve. Giving a child the message "You are only worthy of being loved IF you accomplish" is completely different from saying "I belive in you and I believe that you CAN accomplish". My father used to say: "You are pre-approved." Children need pre-approval. Then they need to know we have faith in them. From that foundation, and with the right tools, all children can go on to reach their fullest potential.

Wendla A. Schwartz, MD
Board Certified Psychiatrist
Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist and Psychopharmacologist

Amy Chua's original article can be found at:
http://on.wsj.com/gJPP44

My 12 year old son seems to be unhappy. He is struggling in school. He cried tonight and didn't know why?

My 12 year old son seems to be unhappy. He is struggling in school. He cried tonight and didn't know why?

Wendla A. Schwartz, MDBoard Certified PsychiatristChild and Adolescent Psychiatrist and Psychopharmacologist

From Reuters Health Information Internet Time Tied to Teen Depression Symptoms

 Internet Time Tied to Teen Depression Symptoms



Wendla A. Schwartz, MD Board Certified Psychiatrist Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist and Psychopharmacologist

Optimistic Kids and Depression

An Australian study supports the hypothesis that an optimistic outlook is protective against the development of depression and other disorders in teenagers. An optimist was defined as :
An optimist generally asserts that the good things happening to me will continue to happen in the future and they are of my doing; bad things can happen occasionally by chance but are unlikely to recur,

From Medscape Medical News > Psychiatry
Optimism a Buffer Against Depression in Teens

Dr Schwartz suggests that parents can play a key role in the development of an optimistic outlook in their kids. Helping  kids to develop a positive outlook may actually be beneficial to their psychiatric and medical health. Remember that your children are influenced by:

What you do.
How you do it.
What you say.
How you say it.

So...

Do the right thing even when its hard.
Do the hard things with gladness and know that the hard things are temporary.
Say good things often. Say only what is kind, honest and necessary.
When something painful must be said, say it with kindness.

(And if all else fails...Clean house, help others).


Wendla A. Schwartz, MD
Board Certified Psychiatrist
Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist and Psychopharmacologist

Pediatric Bipolar Disorder: A Valid Condition?

Pediatric Bipolar Disorder: A Valid Condition?
Medscape Psychiatry & Mental Health, 2011-01-04